I forgot when or where I made a comment about asexuality. I first learned about it when gay marriage activists were campaigning throughout the U.S. This was around the time of the Chick-fil-A Controversy, in 2012 according to Wikipedia.

I found a forum on asexuality called AVEN, it appeared to a under construction at the time but had a lot of good well thought out posts. Living in a hyper sexualized environment (L.A./Hollywood) this was a stark contrast to the prevalent culture and it intrigued me so I read through all the posts over a few weeks.

I thought about what I read and took another few weeks to reflect and review some of the posts.  Nothing really came up on the topic besides their website or copies of their content so they were the ones I used to inform myself.

After carefully considering the content, I decided that I did agree more with asexuality then hyper sexuality for several reasons.

  • A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell and neither does a lady.
  • Christianity teaches abstinence until marriage.
  • Self control includes things like sex, exercise, speech, thoughts, and appetite.
  • Discipline should be exhibited throughout all aspects of your life.

I was able to see asexuality as a difference in choice and expression and not as an archaic way of thinking worthy of shaming people over. The right to privacy came into play as I was processing these new ideas. I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter if someone is having sex and keeping it private or not having sex at all.

Sex requires consent from all parties and if someone wants to have sex with you or include you in their current arrangements they’ll let you know. Without consent, it’s rape, a very primitive and unsophisticated form of sex.

The reason sex is important when discussing asexuality is because there are different types of asexuals. Some don’t experience sexual arousal at all but are hopeless romantics. Others are like an orange that won’t let you taste it’s sweet nectar unless you can peel back its skin by forming a strong intellectual or emotional connection. Some asexuals, including males, can feign arousal in order to provide their partner with sex. Even though they do not desire sex, they perform the act out of love for the person they are partnered up with. An AVEN guest wrote a really good post in 2011 explaining it all.

As for my current sexual orientation or lack thereof. I did say I thought I might be asexual for some time as it cut conversations I strongly feel should be private and only between involved parties short. To be truthful, I’m not sure. Maybe I’m not kissing and telling, maybe I’m bland and have man issues, or maybe nobodies been able to form a strong emotional connection with me for a while. I don’t really think it’s anybodies business but mine and anybody who approaches me or gets approached by me.